In advance of the Qixi Festival in China, which is an event
dedicated to fruitfulness and young love, one grocer in Nanjing has discovered
a way to make his fruit more attractive. He’s dressing them in
sheer panties! It’s a double joke, because the grocer is
based in a region of China known for underwear production. The price is as ripe
as the peaches, at 60 Euros for nine (admittedly the lingerie clad fruit arrive
in a satin lined box) but it’s not winning over many fans -
potential buyers seem unimpressed, maybe because they prefer a bargain or maybe
because they can’t work out what to do with nine pairs
of tiny pants when they've eaten the contents.
If you’d like to look a peach in some sheer
undies, here are our top tips for perfect presentation:
1.
Exfoliate! The nether regions are very erogenous
but also benefit from good maintenance. Buffing your butt with a sisal glove,
or using some sugar scrub will remove any dry skin and improve the circulation
2.
Moisturise. Once your skin is peachy smooth, a
good moisturiser keeps it that way. There are many treatments on the market
that aim to reduce cellulite or improve appearance, and while the jury is still
out on their effectiveness (the action of massaging the product in may be as
effective as the product itself) you can’t go wrong with
something that smooths and softens the skin and smells great
3.
Sheer or not? Not everybody likes to sheer look
- if you don’t, consider wearing a tiny sparkly g-string under your sheer
panties. It offers the best of both worlds and is a sexy way of highlighting
the semitransparent nature of the sheer garment. Our Roza Genezis Shortybriefs, matched with the Venus G-string by Lola Luna are a perfect pairing
for this kind of treatment.
Victoria’s
Secret slapped
No, it’s not a spanking story! Lingerie
retailer Victoria’s Secret has been walloped in the
courts by Thomas Pink, bespoke shirt maker of London town. The undie seller
started a range of retail outlets called Pink in 2012, and has now been told it
must rename them across the UK. It seems that the staff of Thomas Pink have
been turning away annoyed customers seeking sexy lingerie whilst furious shirt
seekers have berated the staff of Victoria’s Secret for not
having well tailored shirting to sell!
Caring for your naughty nighties
Or, for that matter, any other kind of lingerie. How do we look
after such precious garments? First, hand wash them, even High Street
brassieres should be kept out of the washing machine and even more, away from
the tumble dryer. Anything will elastic will last longer if hand washed.
Of course we don’t want stinky undies, so it’s
important to undertake the hand washing process properly:
• fill
a bowl with lukewarm water and a little hand washing liquid
• fasten
hooks and eyes or press studs, so that they don’t tear lace or
other fragile materials
• check
your garments - if you have sweat marks, lipstick stains (we won’t
ask why!) etc, dampen those areas with cold water and rub with a little stain
removing product or neat hand wash
• insert
your undies and ensure they are fully under the water - this can take a while
if you have padded items
• leave
for 15 minutes to soak
• swirl
around in the water for a couple of minutes - no need to scrub
• rinse
in cold water and lay on a clean towel for half an hour to absorb much of the
water, then line dry if your sexy secrets are safe to hang outdoors! If not,
leave them on the towel but lay it over a radiator on a low heat.
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