Sunday 3 August 2014

Sexy fruit, confusing underwear and caring for your scanties - our week in lingerie

In advance of the Qixi Festival in China, which is an event dedicated to fruitfulness and young love, one grocer in Nanjing has discovered a way to make his fruit more attractive. He’s dressing them in sheer panties! It’s a double joke, because the grocer is based in a region of China known for underwear production. The price is as ripe as the peaches, at 60 Euros for nine (admittedly the lingerie clad fruit arrive in a satin lined box) but it’s not winning over many fans - potential buyers seem unimpressed, maybe because they prefer a bargain or maybe because they can’t work out what to do with nine pairs of tiny pants when they've eaten the contents.

If you’d like to look a peach in some sheer undies, here are our top tips for perfect presentation:

1.    Exfoliate! The nether regions are very erogenous but also benefit from good maintenance. Buffing your butt with a sisal glove, or using some sugar scrub will remove any dry skin and improve the circulation
2.    Moisturise. Once your skin is peachy smooth, a good moisturiser keeps it that way. There are many treatments on the market that aim to reduce cellulite or improve appearance, and while the jury is still out on their effectiveness (the action of massaging the product in may be as effective as the product itself) you can’t go wrong with something that smooths and softens the skin and smells great
3.    Sheer or not? Not everybody likes to sheer look - if you don’t, consider wearing a tiny sparkly g-string under your sheer panties. It offers the best of both worlds and is a sexy way of highlighting the semitransparent nature of the sheer garment. Our Roza Genezis Shortybriefs, matched with the Venus G-string by Lola Luna are a perfect pairing for this kind of treatment.

Victoria’s Secret slapped

No, it’s not a spanking story! Lingerie retailer Victoria’s Secret has been walloped in the courts by Thomas Pink, bespoke shirt maker of London town. The undie seller started a range of retail outlets called Pink in 2012, and has now been told it must rename them across the UK. It seems that the staff of Thomas Pink have been turning away annoyed customers seeking sexy lingerie whilst furious shirt seekers have berated the staff of Victoria’s Secret for not having well tailored shirting to sell!

Caring for your naughty nighties

Or, for that matter, any other kind of lingerie. How do we look after such precious garments? First, hand wash them, even High Street brassieres should be kept out of the washing machine and even more, away from the tumble dryer. Anything will elastic will last longer if hand washed.

Of course we don’t want stinky undies, so it’s important to undertake the hand washing process properly:

   fill a bowl with lukewarm water and a little hand washing liquid
   fasten hooks and eyes or press studs, so that they don’t tear lace or other fragile materials
   check your garments - if you have sweat marks, lipstick stains (we won’t ask why!) etc, dampen those areas with cold water and rub with a little stain removing product or neat hand wash
   insert your undies and ensure they are fully under the water - this can take a while if you have padded items
   leave for 15 minutes to soak
   swirl around in the water for a couple of minutes - no need to scrub
   rinse in cold water and lay on a clean towel for half an hour to absorb much of the water, then line dry if your sexy secrets are safe to hang outdoors! If not, leave them on the towel but lay it over a radiator on a low heat.

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