Tuesday 12 January 2016

January’s hot lingerie stories - petitions, lashes and incontinence undies …

Lingerie Football League

The petition first - we blogged about the Lingerie Football League before Christmas and after the first match took place, a petition was launched, asking the owners of Hotel Football, where that match was played, to end their support of the lingerie league.

The league was set up by Gemma Hughes who claims the Lingerie League will highlight the gender gap between male and female players. The petition contained signatures from the campaign group Women In Football and many coaches of women’s teams have expressed their concern that linking lingerie and football is inappropriate for the development of the professional game and may lead to sexual intimidation of women. The women players took to the pitch in suspenders and there was a lingerie fashion show at half time.

Lingerie flingers uncivilised - concert organisers should be whipped

Enrique Iglesias recently have a concert in Sri Lanka which was a howling (literally) success. On December 20th, when he took to the stage in Colombo, excited women ran on stage to kiss him and others threw their lingerie. It might sound like a story from the 1960s, but for Sri Lanka it’s a new development and so shocking that the national President has been led to comment on it.

At a public meeting, Sri Lankan President Maithripala Sirisena said that the concert organisers should be whipped with toxic stingray tails” for promoting such uncivilised behaviour which goes against the national culture. Public whipping with the tails of stingrays was a punishment reserved for hardened criminals in medieval Sri Lanka - today the phrase is used to express the need for extreme punishment for severe wrongdoing. In an odd twist, Sri Lanka is in fact a major exporter of lingerie which it manufactures for many international underwear brands.

The aerodynamic qualities of underwear have never previously been a consideration for us, but we’re always willing to rise to the challenge. After a few days spent flinging our scanties in the privacy of our own bedrooms we have discovered some key facts:

Good underwear to throw

Leading the field is the underwired brassiere whose structure seems to make it very aerodynamic - to improve the distance your underwired bra will travel, we recommend fastening the hooks and eyes and using a lassoo style throw by twirling the bra around your fingers before launching it in the right direction. For maximum eye appeal as well as air travel, we would plump for the LuxxaCamargue bra … it’s stunning in appearance and easy to throw, but we bet you’ll never want to let go of it, even for Enrique Iglesias!

Boy shorts are remarkably good throwing underwear too. For these to reach a stage, you need to ball them up and use an overhand throw as in cricket and although they slow down as they travel, they still can get a remarkable distance before they flop downwards - the best of the best for flinging in our view is the Royal hand-printed brief which combines elegant design with excellent throwing potential and comes at a price that won’t break the bank if you do decide to fling them!

Sexy absorbant underwear

Incontinence will be an issue for one in three women, and one in ten men during their lifetimes. Solutions to this problem have generally been disposable pads and adult ‘nappies’ which achieve the necessary result but aren’t necessarily the most enticing underwear in the world. Now a New Zealand company called Confitex is bringing some style to incontinence wear. Their products are available online and utilise bamboo technology to be washable, stylish and odour free.

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